Is this all there is?

I sit here with a tissue shoved up each nostril melting slowly into a puddle of Lemsip, Earl Grey and digestive biscuits. I haven’t eaten anything but porridge or biscuits for 3 days. That’s not that long, I know, but it’s long enough for me to be questioning my existence and many, many other things. I have become one with my bed.

The most exhilarating thing to happen lately was losing my glasses. It was 20 minutes of sheer catastrophe and I’ve never felt adrenaline like it. This is it, isn’t it? This is how it ends, I thought, tiptoeing around my room as if avoiding shards of glass for fear of crushing the only lifeline I have between mistaking my cat for jumpers and being able to read roadsigns. I really believed they’d gone – upped themselves in the middle of the night and walked off, leaving me to fend for myself. I can’t see at all without twentieth century optical intervention. If this was the prehistoric era, I wouldn’t have made it out of adolescence. I’d have sat on a bear.

Anyway, they had slipped down the side of my bed. Where I feel my life is heading now, actually. Can I pull that back up too? Will I ever breathe through both nostrils again?

Maybe we can only pick ourselves up. Maybe this is the porridge talking. Maybe.

Photo from Thailand – a reminder of a less germ-infested time.

Hello 2016

I definitely overestimated my ability to write here while holding down a full-time job, as well as managing other compulsory life stuff. I think I’ve overestimated my ability to do anything… or at least, it feels like…

Motivation, new finds and little changes

“THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE.  FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER.  YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.” – Death, in Night Watch by Terry Pratchett I think this is the most terrifying…


    Oh no, calamity!! I can imagine the terror you would have experienced at thinking your glasses had gone. I often find myself feeling supremely grateful for the kind person/people who invented glasses. You’re totally right, we would have been useless in caveman times! Really hope you feel better soon. 🙂

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